Decisions

We all know that sometimes, decisions are just plain hard to make.  I’ve struggled for several years about staying in the local guild I belong to.   After reading Judy’s post about guilds, I thought this is the time for me to say what I think.

I’ve always tried to take a part in the activities within the guild.  For years, I was in charge of creating challenges & special projects for them.  It takes an untold number of hours to come up with ideas, write the guidelines, develop the patterns, plan & execute shopping trips for the projects…etc., etc., etc.  I didn’t mind for the most part because I enjoyed the challenge myself but after so many times of so few people following through, it became a task rather than a joy.  Why should I do all the work if no one is going to play?

In a way,  it’s almost like a smack to the face that the people I interacted with on a monthly basis were less supportive than members of our sister guild who participated often.  They (sister guild members) stuck it out and in the end have beautiful results from those challenges.   I want them to know how much I appreciate it and I hope they will continue to follow my blog and play along with projects here.

Don’t get me wrong….I’ve enjoyed many friendships because of the guild and there are people who I will miss.  Hopefully, we will continue to be friends.  If not, that part is out of my control.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I just don’t have room for crap.  Let’s just call it what it is.  A quilt guild should be fun and enjoyable.  It has become a stressor for me pure and simple.  It’s not my intention to hurt feelings about this but there’s no point in sugar-coating things. This decision is not about any particular person.  If someone reading this thinks this is about them.  Shame on them.  The world doesn’t revolve around one person.  Nor should a group such as a guild and  I’m not asking them to do that for me or change the way they choose to operate to accommodate me.  Instead, I’m taking myself out of the equation to a more comfortable zone for myself.

It’s time for me to move on.

SherylSigRedFinal2

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13 Comments

  1. Life is to short to be stressed over something that is our relaxation. I have been in that place and made choices also. If we don’t take care of ourselves who will!!! Go with your feelings. You can always join another or rejoin later if things change.

    Reply
  2. You already know how I feel. I’m glad you’ve made your decision and that battle within is over. I think sometimes making the decision and then sharing the news is such a drain!

    Reply
  3. quiltapillow

     /  January 16, 2013

    I agree; I have made a decision also; life is too short to be tied to a fearfull, bullied guild; so I will do what makes me happy inspite of all the people I will miss and the years of involvement.

    Reply
  4. I remember years ago when I dropped out of my quilt club. It was becoming more stressful than enjoyable. My boys were young and needed attention. Years later I’ve joined a new group and love it. If something doesn’t work, you need to change it. You made an excellent choice and you can always change your mind 🙂

    Reply
  5. Way too many politics involved in guilds. It should be about friendship, compassion for one another and a great learning experience. Somewhere along the lines in the guild I once belonged to, all this was lost. I walked away almost a year ago and have never regretted my decision.

    Reply
  6. Peggy

     /  January 16, 2013

    I understand completely. You can look at Judy’s comments to see my story. I learned a lot when I was in a guild, but now with the internet I am learning and enjoying without the hassle of meetings. If I am bored with something or have no desire to learn what is on the page I just go to another page or leave the computer.

    Reply
  7. Ginger McLin

     /  January 16, 2013

    Sheryl, I just want to say “Thank You for the Celtic Knot quillt that I made using the directions you gave. It was the first quilt I made, and I think of you every time I see it. If it hadn’t been for your breaking it down into 26 or so parts, I would never have attempted it. Because of you and your talent, I have a beautiful quilt I will always treasure. ” Love you, love you, love you! Ginger McLin

    Reply
  8. Sheryl, I still belong to our guild, but I don’t participate in any of the committees anymore. I still pay my dues, and on occasion if there is a speaker I would like to see, I attend. I found I was spending way more time at board meetings, general meetings, taking on tasks that took me away from my quilting. I do belong to a small mini group, 7 of us. We meet for coffee once a week, and once or twice a month we get together to make donation quilts. I love our small group!. I’m enjoying my quilting once again, and no politics and rules!

    Reply
    • Our guild isn’t large enough to bear the expense of guest speakers very often. There are a few of us who are going to start getting together one day a week to sew/visit and I think we’ll enjoy that. As you say, no politics and no rules!

      Reply
  9. Rhonda Kennedy

     /  January 16, 2013

    That is terrible. I have been talking about going to our local guild as a way to build my quilting business. I haven’t heard much of anything positive about any of them. (Except my group at church and we aren’t a guild. We are just a few ladies who love to quilt and hang out together working on a charity project.)
    That is so sad but I totally agree that if it is taking you away from the quilting you love the. It’s time to leave it behind.

    Reply
  10. farmquilter

     /  January 16, 2013

    Like Angie, I have found a Bee group to be much more fun than my quilt guild. Unfortunately, my Bee group is in Florida and I live in Washington, so I just miss them! Guilds seem to become the fiefdom of one or two people…I basically opted out of my local guild for that reason. Online is where I go for inspiration and that “Bee” feeling!!! Good for you for standing up for yourself!!! Looks like you aren’t alone!!!

    Reply
  11. Angie

     /  January 16, 2013

    I joined a guild last year and found that a lot of the women had formed their own “clicks”. When I went I sat quietly mostly by myself and listend and watched. I missed several months due to other things going on. When I went back, the clicks were still there, but there were a couple of women who “reached’ out to me, to invite me into their group. I really
    like these ladies, especially one who is so talented, I would love to
    learn from her. We started a round robin and the group leader didn’t
    even realize I was a part of it, till she saw my work on some of the rounds, I have given a couple quilts for charity and they lady who is
    in charge seems grateful, but the majority seem to still be in their clicks.
    A lady I went to classes with joined a few months back along with two of
    her friends and that is who I sit with most of the time.
    For now I will continue going, even though I feel at times like the odd
    woman out, in hopes to make new friends and learn new techniques.

    Reply
    • I think it’s natural for people to seek out other people they feel comfortable with. We have to know when that inner group has gotten to be too confined within itself. I needed to come up for air. 🙂

      Reply

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