Update for Chris

It’s been an interesting week to say the least.  When I left him Monday night he was crying in his dinner.  I would call the workers at his house and Options staff to check on him but he didn’t call me (by design).  Tuesday, he cried all morning at work and complained that his foot was killing him so according to LA. law, Options staff took him to the ER to get it checked…An X-ray done and no fractures yielded an RX for Naproxyn and eval. by Podiatrist.  He has tendonitis for heaven’s sake.  The Naproxyn will solve the problem.  The Podiatrist consult was really not necessary.

I asked if I should meet them at the ER and they said…no, no, no.  I saw him later at his house and he seemed to be fine.

Wednesday, he had a worker who picked him up from work and took him to the library where he got a library card and checked out some books.  He seemed perfectly fine.  His worker let him call me 3 times within 30 minutes though.  Hmmmm…not a good thing.

Thursday, Deanna called to say Chris was upset because he didn’t want to wash his clothes at his house.  He told her I said he should bring them here to wash them.  NOT.  I talked to him and we argued/discussed it a bit and I wasn’t sure how it was going to progress from there.  He told Deanna when he left that house Friday morning for work, he was NOT coming back.  Oh, Lordy!

He came home on the regular Options bus and first thing he said when he came in was I wanted to wash my clothes here and I don’t want to go back, I want to stay here with you and Dad.  We talked about reasons he needed to give the move a longer time to adjust and then I got a call that the refrigerator I had bought was freezing everything.  Everything!!

We met Don at the house and the thermostat was stuck.  Since it was a used fridge we had to take it back ourselves.  At least that’s what the paperwork says.  Don went to Lowe’s and bought a brand new fridge/freezer and brought the other one home. While we waited on him to go to Lowes, Chris sorted his clothes and started washing/drying them.  I think his idea is that if he washes his clothes over there, that means he really does live there,.

We took the used fridge back today and the owner said she wished I had called her because her husband would have come to look at it.  I said “well, that’s not what the paperwork says” and she said “I know, but you should have called”.  What????  Anyway, they took it back and issued us a store credit to use later.

I’ve talked to Chris all day just like this is a normal weekend that he comes here and will go back to his house Sunday evening.  So far, it seems to be working as he is talking in those terms also and talking about the new worker who will be assigned to him.  I’ve been making him do all the things Miss Ann and Miss Deanna make him do at his house.  If he cooks, eats, whatever…he has to clean up after himself.

That has been a challenge and we’ve had a few terse words about it.  Just keep us all in your prayers.  I’ll let you know how things go.

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13 Comments

  1. Hang in there Sheryl, Don and you are doing the correct things to make Chris able to survive on his own. If he only knew how hard it is on the two of you also. Be strong.

    Reply
  2. Joyce

     /  January 21, 2012

    Thanks for sharing. Be strong. Blessings be upon you all.

    Reply
  3. Sheryl, we are so proud of all 3 of you. What an adjustment…but what a blessing for Chris that you are able to give him options for long term independent living. We have housed several young people with similar problems who are learning to live on their own in individual 1 bdrm apartments..not group homes! It’s good to see them learn new skills, develop self confidence and make new friends. Their “case workers” keep close tabs on them and see that they get to/from their jobs, dr appts and things like that. If y’all can hold tight to this, Chris will do well. He’s a smart guy!

    Reply
    • Susan, he seems to be doing so well. The first week was really hard for him but we had to go over yesterday evening to take some things to him and he was happy to see us but didn’t get upset when we left. He walked us to the truck and hugged us bye. He’ll be home Friday for the weekend.

      Reply
  4. Sheryl, tienes que ser fuerte porque es por el bien de Chris…es duro para él pero se adaptará espero que este problema se vaya arreglando…

    Reply
  5. justquiltin

     /  January 22, 2012

    Sheryl – I was smiling as I read this — I know it’s got to be tough for you all — but I could hear Chris’s voicein my head trying to explain to you exactly why he had to wash his clothes at home and telling them we wasn’t coming back. Hope every day gets a little easier for everyone. His working through Options was such a great thing for him; this will be too.

    Reply
    • Denise, looking back, it was kind of funny because he had convinced himself that he “had” to wash his clothes here and was so upset because I wouldn’t let him drag dirty clothes around all day at work and then on the bus ride here. He’s a character. Lol.

      Reply
  6. Oh!!!! It is sooo hard not to give in and sooo easy to doubt yourself, was this the right thing to do for Chris!
    I feel your pain, and will send you thoughts and prayers of strength!
    Here’s a hug for all of you!
    Take care, Leslie

    Reply
  7. It’s so hard being a Mom! You are one strong lady–hang in there. Your family is in my prayers.

    Reply
  8. I work with special needs children and being consistent and firm is the answer. Listen to advice from his new home and always follow up with their advice. It’s going to be hard in the beginning because children and adults with special needs are resistant to change….. but it will get better! Keep the faith! God Bless.

    Reply
    • God bless you, Dinah for being able to work with them. I’m having to learn to let go and let someone else be in charge. It’s what both of us need….and it’s ok. 🙂

      Reply
  9. Sheryl, I understand what you are going thru. My youngest son has autism, HF, and lives on his own with supportive living services. My DH and I were able to have our probate attorney create a special needs trust for him in case anything should happen to us. Hang in there!! C

    Reply
  10. Judy Laquidara

     /  January 22, 2012

    I’ve been thinking about you all. How did it go when it was time for him to go back this evening

    Reply

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